


Infinite Makes A Neopets Account

by KiwisMaybe



Category: Sonic the Hedgehog (Video Games)
Genre: Gen, I had to actually enter the neopets site to do this, Im so sorry I have to, Joke Fic, Oneshot attempt at humor, Please Don't Take This Seriously, Sonic Forces, Tumblr idea from Tomaturtles, i don't know how to use tags, intentionally, this is a bad fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-26
Updated: 2019-09-26
Packaged: 2020-10-28 12:48:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20778827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KiwisMaybe/pseuds/KiwisMaybe
Summary: During his journey towards redemption, Infinite finds one single obstacle: figuring how to set a password to his Neopets account.





	Infinite Makes A Neopets Account

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Infinite Makes a Neopets Account](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/523025) by Tomaturtles. 

> Over 1400 words later, I present you this... thing? Based on the genious submission by Tomaturtles on the Bad Sonic Fanfics Tumblr.  
English is not my first language but I tried my best (?). Enjoy this mess!

Infinite tried to organize his life chronologically ever since he lost that goddamn war.

First he was literally dragged by the Ruby, kicking and screaming, back to the abandoned Imperial Tower after losing to that sewer rat and his friends, then he watched as said Ruby shattered, taking away his powers and painting the floor with the largest puddle of his own blood that he had ever seen in all his life as a mercenary, only to finally be found by that foolish Wolf from that unbearable Resistance and be dragged against his will once more to a place he didn’t recognize, while being told random stuff about the Resistance that the jackal didn’t really remember because turns out that making sense of what you’re hearing isn’t your brain’s priority when you’re bleeding to death.

That place turned out to be the guest room in the same Wolf’s apartament, where he had been living ever since.

It was clear to him since he woke up there that the Wolf was obviously insane. He had willingly brought a war criminal to his house (the same one tried to murder him multiple times, Infinite had reminded him more than once), treated his wounds, fed him and hidden him from the other members of the Resistance for the past three months, but in exchange of _what_ the jackal wasn’t really sure.

And while Infinite had no interest in being alive or babysitted – or in being grateful either, as the Wolf liked to point out all the time -, he had realized at the end of the second week of his stay that being an asshole wasn’t really getting him anywhere. The wolf had nerves of steel and was just as snarky as he was. He put up with his bullshit with an unwavering patience, never losing his cool nor carrying out his threat of suffocating the jackal with his pillows in the middle of the night. And Infinite... started to respect that. The faith that the Wolf had in him and the way he encouraged him to be better won him over after a while, and he started making some effort to work his way towards redemption, one small step each day.

He was, however, still forbidden from leaving the apartment ‘for safety reasons’, as the Wolf had put it - If his or Infinite’s, he never really specified -, and being locked inside all day, every day for over three months was making him go insane.

He had his hobbies, sure: dragging the dining chairs across the kitchen in order to intentionally scratch the floor, reading the few books the wolf had, stacking said books in a ‘castle of cards’ way since he wasn’t allowed around decks of cards ever since _that happened_, scratching the furniture, arguing with the wolf about the unsettling Sonic poster he had on the living room, ripping said poster off the wall in anger only to find it back to it’s original place later on without either of them touching it and shaking the sodas he didn’t plan on drinking were a few of them.

But his favorite activity of all was _complaining_, as many times as he could, about how _bored_ he was. And even the Wolf, with his patience of a saint, couldn’t take it anymore.

He had left one day with the promise of finding something to make the jackal’s life more interesting, and came back with a laptop a few minutes later. He then connected to the place’s wifi and started adjusting ever single setting he could before handing it to Infinite and establishing some rules. The jackal stared for a while as the wolf explained what he could and couldn’t do with it.

It was quite a list, since he went on for a few minutes. 

It sounded like he was serious about it, too. Infinite nearly wished he had paid attention.

After he was finished, the Wolf kindly slapped the jackal’s hand away from the keyboard, and started typing something in the adress bar. 

“Here, I decided that you could start with something easy to distract you, so we’re making you a Neopets account.” The Wolf said. When the jackal asked what was a ‘neopets’, he answered “A virtual pet game, you log in and take care of it, feed it, play with it, you know.”.

Infinite looked at him with baffled expression before snorting, believing it to be some kind of joke, but when the Wolf hit enter to head to the site, the jackal realized that he was actually planning on getting him an account.

“Are you serious? A kid’s game” the jackal stared at the site’s home screen and it’s rather ugly layout, unimpressed and somewhat offended. At his side, the Wolf shrugged, “It’s a hit among the members of the Resistance. Also it’s free, so.” When Infinite opened his mouth to question the Resistance preferences, the Wolf continued “Don’t ask me why, I have no idea”, he then clicked on the small ‘**Login to Neopets!**’ text on the right corner of the screen, under a huge ad with a pic of a product that didn’t really fit the childish theme of the site.

The screen now had a ‘**Welcome to Neopets!**’ text over two different boxes, one had ‘**New to Neopets?**’ and a bribe offer to join the site for free and get ‘2,500 neopoints’ from doing so; while the other said ‘**Returning player?**’, _Yeah_, Infinite thought, _as if anyone would play this more than once out of sheer enjoyment_. His eyes followed as the Wolf moved the cursor over the ‘**SIGN UP**’ yellow button, but as he was about to click it his communicator chimmed in by his side. The jackal watched as he answered it and listened as someone screamed about something being out of control. Apparently some havoc was being wreaked.

After a while, the Wolf simply answered with a “I’m on my way” and got up from his place on the sofa. He gave Infinite an friendly smile as he grabbed his utility belt from the arm of the sofa and pointed towards the screen “Can you handle the task of creating your own account?”.

The jackal snorted “You can’t possibly think that I’m incapable of carrying out such a simple task.” he said, crossing his arms after fixing the laptop on his lap. When the Wolf raised a single, defying brow, he hurried him “I can very well do this on my own. Get where you’re going, asshole.”.

Infinite watched as he walked out the door and waited until he heard it lock before turning his full attention to the computer screen once more. Clicking the ‘**SIGN UP**’ button, he was taken to the first of four steps to create an account, according to the site. He didn’t even bother reading the instructions underneath each step before proceeding to create his account. He clicked on the username box, boredly typing ‘ultimatemercenary’ in lowercase letters and stupidly smirking to himself as he saw it was available.

Next, he clicked the password box, typing a rather unkind message only he’d know about. He laughed to himself as he re-entered the password one more time and checked the box to say he agreed to the terms of use and privacy policy, whatever those were. He gladly moved his cursor over the ‘**NEXT**’ button on the lower right side of the site, only to stay on the same page.

Confused, he clicked twice more before realizing that something had changed: the ‘password’ steps were now red instead of black, and a red box right above the ‘next’ option had replaced the green one from before. Infinite got unecessarily closer to the screen, reading the box out loud “Oops! Please check. Your password is too weak and could be easily guessed by anyone. Please create a more secure password”.

The jackal stared dumbfounded, blinking a few times as if he could not believe it.

‘Too weak’?

His smart, original password.

Was _too weak_?

He laughed to himself, distressed in a way he hadn’t been ever since...

Ever since he had been roundhouse kicked into a pillar.

He angrily typed another password, only to be met with the same red box and the same message. Insulted and humiliated by a child’s game. Ridiculous, unbelievable! He tried and tried, only to realize that his insistence was futile. He thought, shaken, that he had been defeated again, unable to get past the first of simple four steps meant for children.

Infinite was trying to be a good person since losing the Ruby, he really was. However, this was too much. It was unforgivable.

He stared at the computer screen in front of him. He tried once more to set a password, but once more, it was dubbed ‘_too weak_’.

“That’s it,” he whispered in tears, clenching his fist, “I’m evil again”.

**Author's Note:**

> EDIT: OMG one of you actually took the username? lol
> 
> Thank you for taking your time to read this bad piece of fiction!  
If anyone feel like following, I am on Tumblr as Kiwiszified - where I mostly post Sonic content! ^^


End file.
